Colin's Ten Point Guide to Christmas
Posted by Sean Kennedy
4th December 2021
Prepare, prepare, prepare; that is the key to a stress-free day so here are a few hints, tips and home truths to help you get the most out of the experience and not appearing on the 6 O’clock news screaming ‘they had it coming’!
1. It is completely fine to pour yourself a glass of champagne when you get up. It’ll make you feel deliciously festive and ready for anything. Trust me.
2. You are not Nigella. Nigella Lawson isn’t Nigella either, for that matter, and she is the first to admit it. That’s not even her kitchen. Don’t put yourself under extra pressure by imagining that everything must appear perfectly prepared as if by magic on the first take with a toss of your chestnut mane.
3. Not everything has to reach the table scalding hot. In fact, most flavours benefit hugely from being allowed to rest for a while out of the oven consequently not everything has to be ready at exactly the same time. This is the single most important thing I can tell you because anecdotally it’s the thing that everyone finds most stressful. If you observe basic timings it will be ready when it’s ready. The gravy will heat it up if necessary.
4. Christmas is not the time to learn new culinary skills. That cheese souffle you’ve been meaning to try? They’ll survive without it, especially the one picking his nose and wiping it on his sister. Play to your strengths and bring out tried and tested favourites your family love, they will thank you for it.
5. Festive food is delicious just the way it is. Sprouts don’t need pancetta; carrots and parsnips are just as sweet and tasty if you roast them without a honey and cumin glaze and a fillet of beef is just perfect roasted au naturelle because Beef Wellington is a pain in the arse unless you know exactly what you’re doing. Give yourself a break, have another swig of fizz and cook ‘naked’ as nature intended. It’s what Nigella will be doing.
6. The kitchen is your domain until everyone is fed. No keen partners, no judgemental mothers in law, no helpful fathers (they’re the worst…) and definitely no kids. You’ll get much more done on your own with a list and a can-do attitude; anyone else is just a distraction. Do they desperately want to help? Prep the veg the night before then or, even better, they can do the dishes afterwards while you settle down with some cheese and a syrupy Sauternes.
7. Do as much as you can in the days before. Bread sauce and soups can be made 3 days in advance and take 30 minutes each to prepare. Cranberry sauce can be bought in as can Christmas pudding and a cheesecake benefits massively from a night in the fridge before serving. Veg can be prepped the night before and soaked until required.
8. Leaving yourself with simply roasting and reheating on the day will free you up for all the things that Christmas should really be about.
9. If your guests are expecting Gordon Ramsay when they know you’re the first guy voted off MasterChef, you have the wrong guests. Don’t let the expectations of others ruin your day. Cooking should be joyful, relaxing and fulfilling. You’re the one doing all the work, after all.
10. Make lists, attach them to cupboard doors and follow them meticulously, ticking them off as you go. You can go off-piste a bit to deal with the unexpected but your plan is your best friend. Give it some time and some love beforehand, it will pay dividends.
And remember, your second-best friend is your freezer. Shop when no-one else is, fill it to the brim with everything you could possibly need, shut the door, put on your best lounging pyjamas and hunker down in cosiness for the duration. Not having to venture out for Findus Crispy Pancakes at 4am on the 27th is an underrated luxury in my opinion and one which deserves a point all its own.
The Farm Shop is open every day of the week and until 3pm on the 24th for any last-minute goodies, treats, roasting joints or even full-on feasts if you’ve left it a bit late. We’re also here for advice, pointers, support or a socially distanced shoulder if you need it.
2021 has been a very challenging year for so many of us; wouldn’t it be amazing for it to end on a high!
